The room is silent. The ice blue walls embrace me in a gentle hug attempting to console my heart after dropping my girl off at college last weekend.
Her bed is neat and tidy. I think back to the many days when I asked, “Did you make your bed?” Now, I would give anything to peek in the room and see the sheet and comforter catastrophe. Although there were days when I questioned this fact, there is actually carpet in her room. I would rather see any signs of that busy girl’s life tossed on the floor right now.
I sit at her desk. It has served her well. This desk appeared so big when we got it for our little elementary school girl but now, it seems quite tiny. It stayed strong for the projects, late night study sessions and SAT preparation. It has supported victorious soccer trophies and a million picture frames with smiling prom faces and fun girlfriend times.
Above the desk is a framed corkboard with a few pictures, special memory tokens and her college class schedule. In the center of the brown board is a paper titled, “Count Your Blessings” (Author Unknown) with a long row of hash marks:
Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.
Although my heart is split between my home and the small college dorm room two hours away, I am counting the blessing of my wise and beautiful daughter. I am so utterly proud of the person she is and the one she is growing up to be.
Young mommies…if you never read another post of mine, please do not dismiss my words below. This transition will happen for you before you know it so:
Hug your kids now!
Kiss your kids now!
Ignore the messy room now!
Teach them now!
Listen to them now!
Play with them now!
Soak them up now!
Giggle with them now!
Love your kids now!
Even though my heart does not seem fully whole, I am participating in Shell’s Pour Your Heart Out meme at Things I Can’t Say.
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Paula, I thought I would get through this day without tears but nope. What a beautiful post. I tell you I feel exactly the same way, but as I’ve told you before we did good, our girls turned out beautifully and are proof that we did something right. Soon the holidays will be here and just think of all the hugs we can give them and kisses we can plant on they’re “grown-up” cheeks. I can’t wait! And young mommies, listen to Paula she is very smart and her words are oh so true.
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Sorry friend for the tears. I am sure you knew this post was coming at some point! Holiday countdown has begun!
Hugs, Paula
Paula recently posted..Words from the (not so) Wise
Oops those tears messed me up…meant “their” not “they’re”!!
Diane recently posted..Got Ink?
Paula recently posted..Words from the (not so) Wise
Such a heartfelt post! You did a wonderful job giving your baby girl the life skills to venture out on her own. Thanks for a great reminder to love on our kids now because they will be grown and off on their own waaaay to fast!
Thanks Sherri! So glad you came over for a visit!
You have a couple more years with your girl…she may not be happy that I advised you to “love her” so much more! Hee hee
Paula recently posted..Words from the (not so) Wise
Paula, Today was the first day of Middle School for my son. It is truly amazing how fast it all goes. I love your words above. The image of the made bed versus the messy one really tugged at me. Spoil yourself a little, let the sad mix with the happy, and know that you’ve done well.
Hi Marijayne! As if leaving my daughter at college wasn’t enuf, my son just started middle school too. That is a whole new can of worms, huh? Thanks for your kind words!
Paula recently posted..Words from the (not so) Wise
Awww. My heart feels for you! I have two little boys at home with me and feel extremely lucky (on most days) that I get to fully embrace Motherhood with them…I try very hard to adhere to your sage advice although it’s so nice to have this reminder once in a while when things are feeling a little harried. Very sweet post.
Oh, what a big milestone for you!
I look at my boys and just want them to be little forever.
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: I’m Just Me
I do understand how you are feeling. Beginning with my first daughter, I reminded myself that my children were not mine, but God’s. My three daughters were only on loan to me for a short time. My responsibility was to raise them to know the difference between right and wrong, to teach them to have a relationship with God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, and to teach them the importance of making good decisions on their way to becoming self-confident, independent young ladies. Hopefully, I accomplished all of this in an atmosphere of true unconditional love.
No matter how prepared you think you are, being a mother is such a strong bond of love, that when they do go on with their own lives (which happens because of the way we brought them up), we grieve the loss. I have done this three times and it doesn’t get any easier. There is a grief and emptiness that I think only another mother can understand.
When they do come home, they are so excited. The daughter who you are sure can’t possibly look after herself, does. The daughter who calls from school and begs you to come and get her and bring her home (extremely hard on both of us), can’t wait to go back to school. Seeing them develop into more mature and independent young ladies, is heart-warming.
Seems like the only real control a mother has is to just love them while we have them! <3
Thanks, Paula. I do understand what you are going through. Thanks for letting me share with you. I think if we didn't love our children so much, it wouldn't be so hard. Being a mother is the best job in the world, but God never promised it would be easy.
Hugs to you!
Gee thanks…where are the tissues???!!!! I’ve got three more years before she leaves for college…sniff…sniff…sniff. Beautiful reminder to all us Moms! I’ve got the wee one too, so I get to keep her around when the others leave me…it’s a bit of a consolation:) May God bless you and your daughter!
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Thank you for the wonderful reminder! I love the words she had on her board. They are really special.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Read.Explore.Learn.- A is for Apple and Rocket Learns to Read
Well said, Paula! And you and I both know how hard that can be for those juggling all the multigeneration issues of the Sandwich Generation. But it’s till so vital to strive at being proactive in making the minutes we share with our children and grandchildren really count. Thanks for a lovely visit.
Kaye Swain recently posted..Encouragement for the Sandwich Generation on the Anniversary of 9/11
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