Sneak a Peek

Not all Sandwich Mamas take care of their parents under their own roof. If you are living far away from your elderly parents, you are still a full-fledged member of the Sandwich Generation and probably have additional challenges because you are not witnessing your parent’s daily activities. Over the next few weeks, I will highlight long distance caregiving concerns and I hope to provide you with tools to help you with this important task.

As most of you know, until recently, my mom lived in our guesthouse that was just steps from my home. What you may not know is that I was a caregiver for my dad years ago and although he was only about 20 minutes from me, I did not interact with him on a daily basis. When I did have the opportunity to visit him, I would try to soak up any details or information about my dad’s daily life that he did not communicate to me.

So, the first thing you can do as a remote caregiver is to become an assessment expert. That simply means that you acquaint yourself with important warning signs in order to get a full concept of your parent’s situation. When you visit your parents, take note of the following:

1.    Check out the auto.

• Does the car have multiple dings or scratches?  
• Does your parent have parking tickets or traffic violations?
• Is their car maintained with fluids, fuel and tire pressure?
• Does your parent talk about getting lost while driving?
• If your parent is driving, what do you think of their road skills?

2.    Monitor medications.

• Are your parent’s medications organized or clearly labeled?
• Are you comfortable with your parent’s ability to take their medications on time?
• Can your parent explain to you what they are taking to demonstrate knowledge of this vital issue?

3.    Mealtime awareness.

• If you are visiting your folks, is the food in the refrigerator fresh?
• Are the shelves stocked with canned food or other staples?
• When speaking with your parents, do they mention that they missing meals?
• Does your parent seem to be at a healthy weight?

4.    Home inspection.

• When visiting your parents, do you see safety hazards such as electrical cords or throw rugs?
• Is the home lighting adequate?
• Is there space to move around if your parent uses a walker?
• Is the home clean?

5.    Financial Fitness.

• Do you see charity requests around?
• Are there multiple piles of unopened mail?
• Are you aware of any unpaid bills?

Now that you are aware of your parent’s situation, you can use this vital information to help make safe decisions and changes for your parents. Stay tuned for more information on long distance caregiving.

Are you a long distance caregiver? What is your biggest concern or challenge?