Today I experienced the fright. of. my. life! My heart is beating a million miles a minute and I desperately need your help! Before I beg whine ask for your assistance, I need to give you a little background about myself.
*Gulp*
I…..
am…..
not…..
an….
athlete!
Not on any level! :/
(Insert disappointing sigh here!)
When I was a really little kid, I thought I was the fastest runner of all time! I knew I could outrun a cheetah if necessary based on one little fact; I could hear the wind whistling in my ears when I ran. (This should give you an indication of my pathetic abilities!) My athleticism did not improve in middle school. I was a pretty good bike rider and I had been riding to school regularly. One day, after a choral performance (that required a skirt and stocking combo) I hopped on that orange beauty and headed for home. I did not have room to put my groovy (yeah, that was the word o’ the day) painted leather purse in my bike rack so I kept it on my shoulder. After the ten thousandth time the purse fell off my shoulder, I decided to let it dangle near my elbow. Then, in an instant, my purse found its way into the spokes of my bike, causing it to stop in its tracks. Unfortunately, I did not stop and flew head over heels onto the pavement, scratching my chin and twisting my legs in opposite directions over the handlebars. Did I mention I was wearing a SKIRT??
Scratch the bike riding. (no pun intended)
In ninth grade (and thankfully a different school than the bike catastrophe), I began playing basketball. No talent on my part was required because I would just stand under the hoop and watch everyone run back and forth. Then someone would hurl the ball across court and I had about ten good opportunities to make a basket.
Sigh, scratch basketball.
Without going into detail, I was equally lousy at softball. I refused to wear my coke-bottle glasses so seeing the ball while I was batting was not an option. One time, by sheer luck I made contact with the ball. I screeched with glee all the way to second base and jumped up and down on the bag! A couple of hours later the girls Vice Principal called me into the office just to congratulate me on making it to second base.
Ugggg… scratch softball.
Now that you fully understand my non-Olympian background, I can tell you why I was scared to death today. My son’s school has father/daughter, mother/son dances. For the past couple of years, we did not attend because I cannot even be seen walking the dude to school let alone going to a dance with him. Sensing that this was happening with boys across the board, the powers that be at the school decided to change the mother/son activity to a SPORTS theme! *GASP* This includes the moms playing kickball, egg toss and three legged races just to name a few activities.
Kidlet2 really wants to go and I do not want him to miss his last parent/child event but I also don’t want him to be embarrassed by his tumble-bones mama. Even though the kids are supposed to run the bases, the moms have to kick the ball and that sounds like it would require some kind of accuracy on my part and protective footwear, a.k.a. an athletic shoe. I don’t think that my zillion pairs of snappy flats qualify. Also, our playground is mostly concrete so, do they allow three legged race participants to wear helmets?
Here is where you come in….I need your help! How should I prepare for this triathlon fiasco? Have you ever been in this situation? Are there any even slightly athletic moms out there willing to travel to So Cal and pretend to be me? Any advice would help!
I think this is where you just hope that other non-athletic moms show up, too!
Crossing my fingers!! Have a great day Shell!
Here are my thoughts.
You will mostly have other non-athletic moms there who are so worried about making fools of themselves that they kind of just half go at it. Which is fine and fun and of course it is all about the boys showing how great they are.
And then you will have a few crazy competitive moms who are super athletic and are busy trying to kick the heck out of the ball to even notice what else is going on. Those moms will scare everyone else. Don’t go near them, that would be your downfall!
Just have a good time and enjoy your last Mother and Son activity!
Heather I really like your view on the whole thing. I am going to make notes: Go near the super-athletes = downfall!
Well first, be sure to carb up. After that, athletic greatness is sure to abound.
I have a similar problem. This weekend, I’m supposed to take my kindergartener to a pool party, and “parents are welcome to attend.” (Sigh.)
Good luck! You’ll be great!
Maura – great strategy!
I will keep you posted if I am not in the E.R. that is!
You know, you’d be surprised how much credit you’ll get for just showing up! TRY to relax and enjoy yourself. You’ll do fine.
P.S. Perhaps knee pads underneath jeans?
Knee pads – very good idea! My son was trying to teach me how to “bunt” the kick ball – this could be very hazardous to my health! Thanks for visiting!
You’ll do great! Just laugh…a lot! It’ll make everyone think you’re super cool! Which of course, you are!
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What’s For Dinner
http://www.mawhats4dinner.com
Oh yeah, Alex – super cool like that! :/ Happy Friday to you!
I bet you will be just fine and have a ton of fun too. But? Won’t hurt to wear a helmet! How fun for you two…this has got to be captured on video
Have fun!
Oh dear…a video? That just may push me over the edge! LOL!
You sound just like me! I’m athletically challenged as well. I wish you luck! Just relax and have fun!
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Following you now!
Hi Laura! Thanks for visiting! I know it will be fun – just cross your fingers I don’t embarrass the dude! Have a great weekend!
Go with the bunt! He’s on to something there, lol. I probably won’t matter if you have zero athletic ability, he’ll just be excited that you are there
Hi Dorothy – thanks for stopping by! Yeah, I am thinking that may be the best strategy…just a little baby kick and let him run like heck!
Oh man, I feel you. Non-athlete here too.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I subbed via RSS!
Thanks so much for visiting! The big event is this week so cross your fingers!
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